Edward's Apology
by call me crumpet
Summary: Set on the plane leaving Italy, New Moon. Bella finally gets angry at Edward for leaving her and has a breakdown. This is how I thought it should've happened, in the book Bella holds back too much for Edward's sake. One Shot.


We had been in the air for an hour. I hadn't loosened my grip on Edward yet and he still held me lovingly against his cool body. It felt like my own private heaven, I didn't want to leave his embrace – ever. But I had to deny myself the pleasure of giving into the good feeling. Now that I was safe, Edward was sure to leave me as soon as we made it back to Forks. It took all my strength, but I brought my mind back up to the surface and mentally began detaching myself from the love that was throbbing inside me for Edward.

Edward noticed that I had become stiff, and he whispered in my ear,

"What's wrong, love?"

I was going to simply answer 'nothing', but something stopped me. A strange emotion overwhelmed me and I heard my own voice scream ' NO' in my head. What? I clenched my fists involuntarily and realised that I was… angry.

I went numb and in my minds eye I saw something. My subconscious dragged up the memory of those depressing months after Edward had left. That whole time that I had suffered, I always knew that I had never been good enough for him and so I accepted that he didn't want me. But in that moment I felt my body heave with pure anger. Because I realised that I hadn't deserved to be put through what he did to me, no one did! And to think he would do it all again made my blood boil.

I shoved Edward fiercely away from me and tried to leave my seat, but he was faster. I tried to scream but he clamped his had over my mouth and in one second he had me in a vice-like grip and was dragging me down the isle, past the stunned passenger to the toilet. He swiftly got us both inside, which seemed impossibly in such a confined space, and locked the door behind us.

Edward held me by the shoulders, firmly but still gently, and his eyes poured over my face anxiously.

"What wrong, Bella?"

And then I snapped. My body convulsed which the emotion that I had been holding back ever since that terrible day…the words poured out like vomit,

"You have no idea what you did to me, how can you act as if nothing ever happened? I though I was going to die of depression, you ripped my life apart," and I felt the familiar feeling of my chest wanting to split in two but I continued in a pained voice, "You lied to me all those times you said you loved me and you crushed everything in that one day in the forest. I don't think I've been living since then…I didn't eat for a whole week…I've almost killed myself trying to bring back the memory of your voice. I've tried to hold myself together by curling into a ball every night, my dad thinks I'm psychotic – not to mention my friends – and you know what?" My voice broke, " I wish I had died when I jumped off that cliff, because at least then I wouldn't have to go through it all again. You don't love me, I know that now, but maybe you should've thought things through better before you came into my life."

And I said this all in hysterics, tears poured down my face making my eyes red and itchy and my throat sore. I started shaking and my body convulsed again. After a while I got my breath back and I slowly looked up to see Edward's face.

He was standing motionless in front of me, his expression was contorted into one of pure revulsion. His topaz eyes pierced my heart, my anger almost completely vanished so intense was the despair I saw there, but I could not understand his reaction. He slowly reached his hands up to place them around my wet face. Our ours locked and then his voices sounded into the silence and he spoke sadly,

"Isabella Marie Swan, I have always know that I was a monster, but now I realise that I am something much worse." I was confused but my heart swelled with pity for him, he continued, "I didn't know it would happen like that….I..I left you Bella purely for your own benefit, after all that danger I had put you in…but I'm back now," his voice became strong, "and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He drew me against his chest and I breathed in his scent. I almost forgot that I was angry at him, his scent was so intoxicating. I pushed myself away (_tried_ to) and found that there was nowhere to move.

"Bella," his voice broke. He continued, "If only I had known…I thought it was just me," he whispered " it killed me do do what I did to you…I only stayed alive because I though you were still safe in Forks." I wished I could believe what he was saying, but he couldn't really mean it...what did he want from me?

I took a deep breath, "Edward, I don't think this will work out." I was being honest, even though I was not as angry as before I couldn't give in to him just like that. Could I just forget what had happened, what he did to me, just like _that? _No...forgiving him would make it even harder, besides - he was still going to leave again...  
fresh tears began to trickle down my cheeks. He brushed them away with his thumb and I flinched.  
Edward's head sunk down to his chest, a posture I had never before seen him take...he was ashamed. _Bella, don't be weak! _something screamed inside my head. It was right, I had to cut the cord.

"Edward, don't make it harder for both of us. I don't understand you, why are you doing this? Stop, you'll find it easier to leave again if you just leave me alone."

I turned to leave, where was the stupid door handle? Edward grabbed me in a firm grip again, why couldn't he just _give up_. I pulled against his grasp.

"Bella, wait," his voice was barely audible. He took both of my wrists in one of his hands, and with the other he pulled out a gold chain from under his shirt. On the chain was a beautiful gold locket, intricately woven with delicate flowers.  
"Edward, you can't win me over with jewelry," I sighed.

He didn't reply but he released my wrists and in a swift movement had opened the locket and pulled something that was concealed within it...  
He held up before my eyes a lock of dark brown wavy hair, I gasped...my hair.

Edward smiled slightly, "I think I can prove to you that I really do love you Bella Swan, I have worn this every day since..._that _day, in my mother's locket, beside my heart..." If he were capable of tears I know that they would've been flowing down his perfect face right now.

"I need you to know, to _believe_, that I had to leave for your own safety...I never imagined that I would cause so much harm. Bella, I never lied to you, I have _always_ and always_ will_ love you."

So he did want me, he had tried to protect me from himself by leaving but he had wanted to stay. I felt numb, could it be true?

"Bella?"

"Yes"

"Believe me when I say that I will never leave you again."

I paused, deep down I knew Edward would never lie to me, maybe hide information from me, but never _lie_. My heart swelled with love, "Of course"

"But is there still time to fix you?" He wondered solemnly

I wondered this too, but I was feeling strangely optimistic and I had a feeling that we could piece our lives back together if we tried. "Edward, it's already so good to have you back," I smiled and crushed myself against him. Unexpectedly, his chest rumbled with laughter, but then it abruptly stopped,

"I'm serious Bella, I have hurt you and I can never forgive myself for that. It will take my all of eternity to make it up to you."

"Edward," I laughed, "you're already forgiven. But, eternity sounds good."

"I love you Bella, truly I do."

"I love you too Edward, welcome back."


End file.
